I spent the day sleeping, attempting to take Kade to his one year check-up and baking with my sister- who for just a moment we thought was in labor. It was another hectic day that left me low on sleep and energy. Right now my kitchen is strewn with egg shells, splattered confetti batter and dried up tortellini noodles (evidence of Kade tossing them carelessly out of his highchair and onto the floor, the table, his seat..) I've got a 1 Liter Diet Coke in one fist and a cup of coffee in the other. Yes, I've got another crazy day ahead of me. But that's just it, I have another day ahead of me. And I'm determined not to take it for granted. The past is over and the future hasn't happened yet; all we have is the present. And that is a gift. Presently, I am exhausted. Therefore, it's time to straighten up the kitchen and get into a steaming hot shower- the kind of shower you sit down and fall asleep in.
Before getting Kade into the bath, we sat on the couch and watched some home videos of the last few months. Kade's first time finger painting. His determination as he army crawled down the hallway. We watched him play on the floor at my aunt Linda's wedding. Memories in the past. I find myself thinking a lot about the future, too. Next Christmas, next summer, someday. It's time to think about this moment: to clutch it in my hands and hold it close to me until it passes. At this moment, Kade is in bed. He's sleeping soundly without his pacifier for the first time. And I am relishing in the moment.