In April, when we were on our way to take Kade to Primary Childrens for his surgery, there was a red SUV driving behind us on the freeway. He was following too closely, our bumpers were dangerously close and I was nervous. As if my anxiety wasn't high enough from the anticipation of the day, he kept getting closer and closer. I was going 80 miles per hour. I tapped my brakes. Please, mister. Slow down. I've got precious cargo. He changed lanes and I thought it was over. Then, out of no where he cut in front of me. He slammed on his brakes and it was all I could do to keep my tiny little toyota from becoming a smashed pop can against his big red SUV. I was livid, to say the least. I wanted to pull him out of his car and shake him. Do you have any idea what my family is about to go through? I was so upset, thinking about the "Caution: Baby Inside!" sticker that hung from my rear window. I wanted to scream at him. My baby is about to have open-heart surgery. You could have killed him before we even made it. Kade screamed in the back seat; he was agitated because he couldn't have anything to eat or drink and he had been up since five in the morning. I couldn't help but think it was a sign of what was to come later that day.
God does not give us things that we cannot handle.
This thought first came to me when Kade was born, premature and with a birth defect; while he was in the NICU, struggling to eat. It came to me again when we were first told of his heart. And on the day of his surgery, it was an echo in the back of my mind; reassuring. God gives these children to people who he knows will take care of them.
Maybe, the man in the red SUV was a preparation. If I can't handle some road rage, what on earth will I do when they take my baby in that operating room?
My aunt is very sick. She had surgery today to remove a tumor. They couldn't get it all, and are throwing around the C word with confidence. My vibrant, loving, determined and energetic aunt. But, God does not give us things that we cannot handle.
If we never had challenges in life, we would never think of him. In times of trial, we look to him for faith. Think of Job: the adversary swore that Job was only pious because he was given great riches. When the riches were taken from him, Job remained steadfast. Nothing could break his faith. I believe my beautiful aunt, our loving family, her amazing girls.. they are Job in this story.
Tonight, I squeezed Kade a little harder. I took extra time to comb his hair and kiss his little cheeks after slathering them with lotion. I never want to take life for granted- too often, it is swept from under people.