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Friday, January 20, 2012

In Time, My Friend

Over and over I sit in front of this post and attempt an eloquent version of the last week of my life. It's not pretty but as with all things, there is a hidden beauty. There is a spark- a hint of relief and a weight off my shoulders. The pages are still blank but there is a miraculous feeling of the words still being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible.



There are times in life that you want to throw your hands up, a giant gesture of I-freaking-give-up. Sometimes, it's one thing after another; you're doing your best, trying hard, and then... You make a mistake and everything you've ever known is pulled from beneath you. You're suddenly falling, arms flailing, reaching for anything close to grasp on to for dear life. And then, after some time, you find solid ground. And your feet, not used to the soft plush of the grass, will walk timidly and you might be a little sad- missing that place in the clouds that you were so urgently yanked from- but with a little time, you begin to feel the dewy coolness of the grass on your feet, your toes feel the warm, damp soil, slowly your sesnses come back and  you start running. Of course, this is a metaphor.

For every ending, there is a new beginning. A chance to rebuild relationships where old ones have crumbled. A chance to take care of yourself: take more baths, read more books, go on walks, have coffee with a friend. There is something tremendous to be said about time. Time is our friend at night, when we awake and peek, nervously at the clock only two o'clock! I still have all night.. Time is our enemy when we wake up late and find ourselves rushing through the morning. But most importantly, time is the healer of all things. Time wraps around your heart and very slowly begins stitching it back together, careful not to leave one thread dangling, tying tiny little square knots, and snipping the ends. Isn't time the true ruler of life? Of all things?

You have to fill up that time, of course. With gardening, pancake mornings, pillow fights, an endless sea of books and bubble baths.. things that make you happy, things that bring you back to your center.
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This little guy? He's quite the little character. Lawd Help Us.

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A requirement of being "almost two:" A Very Messy Face, All Day Long.

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While the rest of the state deals with flooding, we got this little skiff of snow, which has already melted. It's been warm enough not to wear a coat and my winter To-Do list sits untouched- How are we supposed to go sledding without powder?!

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Making pizza at Grandma Danielles house. Yum!


In time, you could lose yourself. But in time, you will find yourself again. And you will be timid. You might be sad. But, you will heal and you will find solid ground again.




1 comment:

  1. Sending lots of Love from California!!
    <3<3<3<3<3<3

    ReplyDelete

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