Kade-stay-cation

Smack dab in the middle of a serious, no, a chronic case of writers block, I find myself frustrated and exhausted. Boxes are stacked in my living room, Cheerio's are smashed into my carpet, and our oh-so-energetic-college-student neighbors are throwing a party; on a Tuesday night. In the middle of this, I sit in the same sweats I wore to bed last night. My hair is a twisted, curly mess, the rubber band barely containing it, a thick knot at the nape of my neck. I stared at this screen for freaking ever. What sort of inspiring words do I have tonight? You have to write something! Jessica, pull it together dude. So, here it is, the grand theme of today: Sometimes, no matter how hard we try or how well we display this put together facade of "such a good mom," we have our off days. When I say we, I mean we. Please, someone side with me here and concur that you are a pledged member of the Actual Person club. Kade had Nutella for breakfast. He ran around in a diaper and socks the entire day. He ate TWO huge cookies, one after another and when he didn't want his nutritious dinner (which I prepared in a last ditch effort to salvage the day), I caved and let him fill his belly with tapioca and buttered rolls- chocolate milk on the side.
You see, for all the days we find ourselves breaking a sweat dancing across the kitchen, making pancakes, coloring crayon masterpieces, going on walks... we have these days. When such days come to a close, I find myself tired and a little bit (forgive me) ashamed.
Oh boy, now I've opened a rather large, squirming can of worms. I feel inept and weary and if I were to write a review of my day, it'd go something like: Girl, you could have done more, you could have tried harder. Slow Down, for gracious sake. But, the truth of the matter is that while I sit in my sweats, suffering from a rather infuriating bout of writers block, pausing every third word and backspacing vigorously, Kade is asleep on the other side of this white textured wall. Last time I peeked in on him, he was covered in sleep lines, like little canyons dancing across his cheeks and shoulders. His arms and legs are tucked under him, his bum straight up in the air, and Dotty sits guarding him, just inches from the top of his flushed face. Obviously, he isn't as enthralled in shame as I am. In fact, I think it's safe to say, after reviewing today's photos, he had quite the relaxing day- sort of a Kade-stay-cation. He likes tapioca pudding, he'd much prefer some chocolate in his milk, thank you very much, and he'd rather run around the house clad in a kangaroo printed diaper than his jeans and t-shirt any day. I suppose this post was more for me than for you, dear readers: a reassurance for myself that while I may feel down, tomorrow is another day, full of opportunity. It is okay to have off days. Off days make us human- bring us back to the raw center of This is life, and it's hard. But it doesn't have to be miserable.

Just ask this guy- does this look like a bad-day-face? 

I'd like everyone to meet our new pal, Jelly Cat. Kade parades around the house with JC in tow, patting his back and kissing his little nose. This morning, I caught a glimpse of him spooning air soup from a tiny toy pot into JC's mouth and wiping his face with a tissue. He also carries him around in his mouth- biting his ear and dragging him on the floor, choosing his old method of crawling as opposed to his bounding steps. Of course, he prefers Dotty for sleep time, but JC is his new partner in crime during waking hours. It melts me.

He pats JC's head and says, "Shhh." 

It was a particularly exhausting day- it seemed nothing got done and I had a big fat list of "I wish I had," toward the end. Some days are like this, but watching my baby nurturing his baby, tells me that I'm doing something right. It makes my heart swell with pride.

I'll be back tomorrow with a (hopefully) more refreshing post. Until then, JC got strawberry jam on him today, Mama duty calls.