Preventable vs Inevitable

Today, I felt a familiar stir in the pit of my stomach.. the fear of "I wish I had" loomed just over my head and left me feeling inept and weary. I wish I had gone to the prayer service tonight, our pastor posted a picture of many empty seats and it left my heart aching a little. I wish I had sat with Kade during breakfast instead of trying to get some dishes done and talking to him over my shoulder. I wish I had taken him to the library today like I told him I would- regardless of whether he understood what I was telling him or not. I don't want to send Kade off to college with a heavy heart full of "I wish I had." Now, I wish I hadn't is inevitable. But the former is preventable. Today, we chased away the demon of I wish I had taken Kade to the fire station. And Saturday? I wish I had taken Kade to the pumpkin patch was snuffed out. I want Kade to play sports, to play musical instruments, to stay up late to watch fireworks, to take such long bubble baths that his toes get pruned like raisins and then? Warm up the water and let him have at it, again. I want him to bang pots and pans on new years, taste great grandpas "stinky cheese" on Christmas and follow powder sugar footprints across the driveway on Easter morning. Childhood should be whimsical, free and sometimes messy. It's important to sometimes forgo the bath and put your baby in bed with a belly full of pumpkin bread and paint in his hair; happy, full and snuggled with a sock monkey. The sometimes is also important. I love the routine we've fallen into: pancakes breakfasts, afternoon walks, bedtime baths, cuddle puddles and story time. I love the smell of our house around eight pm: no more tangles, warm bath water and humidifier oils. While these are beautiful rituals that I hope Kade will cherish forever, I hope he remembers the days we strayed from the track. The day we stayed up until ten pm making cupcakes and doing laundry, the way I let him help me fold my jeans even though I cringed; knowing he must still have orange frosting on him somewhere. I don't want him to grow up and tell me Mom, I wish we had... 

It may happen anyway, but you can bet your bottom nickle I'm going to fight it. I can't stress enough the importance of being a Child. Childhood does not mean hours on end spent in front of a television. It means building forts and escaping to the far off land of Gooberdale. It means playing dress up, having tea parties with finger puppets, digging for hidden "treasure" along the river bank and marching around Target wearing a newspaper hat and mismatched socks. Once childhood is gone, you don't get it back. And while it's important to teach life lessons, and manners Mr.Fox, it was such a pleasure to have you join us for tea this afternoon, it's important to hold fast to the early years. Hold them tightly against your chest and embed a memory of I'm so glad we...

On traditions: It's so important to me that Kade has traditions that he can carry with him and eventually pass down to his own family. One tradition we've decided to start is yearly trips to the pumpkin patch followed by costume shopping, pumpkin carving and roasted pumpkin seeds. We had such a good time and it was such a low-key but still stimulating activity. Kade didn't get bored, tired or overwhelmed. We took a break to visit with Uncle Quinn and eat some much deserved pizza after working hard the choose The Perfect Pumpkins.

The best apples are of the home grown, Just Picked variety-

cooled to the perfect temperature by the crisp October air.

Kade has a fascination with anything that has wheels. Trucks, cars, tractors, wagons.. So a tour of the local fire station was on the top of my To Do list. Luckily, they have an annual Fire Prevention Tour. Kade could hardly contain his excitement. He didn't want me to take pictures, he was focused intently on the ladder as they raised it and lowered it all the way back down again. He gave me a look that could kill every time I pulled the camera from the diaper bag and Good God Help Me but I think my one year old just rolled his eyes. I can take a hint. I put the camera away.

They taught us the safe distance to stand away from a fire to roast marshmallows and to always call 911 at a neighbors house if yours happens to be on fire. They served chili and corn bread made by the firefighters themselves. It was a fanciful affair, even Smoky the Bear made an appearance.When we drove away, Kade screamed and cried making little vrooooom sounds between his sobs. My little Wheel Lover, garsh he makes me smile.

 He took his marshmallow roasting very seriously. 

This is Kade's "Mom, did you seriously just ask some random lady to take our picture?" face. 

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I'd like to introduce you all to a friend of ours. This is Kades alter ego, MonsterBaby. He jumps and crawls around his room just before bed, gnashing his terrible teeth and showing his terrible claws and screeching high pitched animal noises while Mommy kisses his belly button. It is necessary to pin this little monster down and slather his cheeks with lotion as quickly as possible before he wiggles from your hold and leaps across the carpet toward the door. We like when he comes to visit but are relieved when he leaves for the night, returning our sleepy eyed and oh-so-cuddly little Kadertot.

Now, there is a cup of coffee and a magazine calling my name...