Kade's One Year Photos

Yesterday, Kade has his One Year Photos taken by Shelly Archuleta. She did the most amazing job capturing his sweet personality! Remember the post about Sears Portraits? They took Kade's photo for 15 minutes and we had 12 pictures to choose from. They were way over-priced and low quality. Shelly was the exact opposite! She was so patient with Kade and let him take breaks whenever needed. I am so thrilled with how they turned out. Can't wait to send them off with his birthday party invitations!

In other news..

My apartment is inching closer and closer to being clean and organized. Kade's room is finally finished. Finding him an outfit to wear is now a breeze, where before it was a irritating chore. I can't wait until the rest of my house is the same...

I've decided to take a break from my sewing projects until after Kade's birthday. There's a lot going on and having the sewing machine planted on the kitchen table is just adding to the clutter and chaos of my apartment. Once crazy, hectic July is over, I will pick it back up (with vengeance, I'm certain).

Kade helped me do laundry today. He is by far the best laundry helper in the world- he takes his job as laundry-card-holder very seriously. He held it tight like a prized trophy and watched intently as I slid the card into the machine; he wanted to be certain I was going to give it back. When the washer "dinged!" he giggled, kicked his feet in excitement and held out the card. His happiness over the simplest of things never ceases to amaze me.

Tonight, before tucking Kade into bed we read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Kade giggled and his eyes fluttered sleepily as he finished the last bit of milk in his bottle. We said our prayers and thanked God for everything he has given us: health, nourishment and happiness. When I lay Kade in bed, he sighed and snuggled close to the bars- falling asleep almost instantly. I closed my eyes and listened to his soft, slow breath for a moment. I said another prayer- thanking God for giving me such a beautiful, bright and loving son. Thank you God, for allowing me the great honor to mother such a perfect being. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Busy as a Bee

To start off this post, I'd like to announce that I officially forgot about my own birthday. I've been so busy with work, a baby shower, the zoo and Kade's first birthday that I spaced it. It wasn't until someone asked, "What do you want to do for your birthday this year?" that I realized I had tucked my own birthday deep in the back of my mind. On July 15th, I will be 20 years old. That means I will no longer be a "Teen Mom." What do I want to do for my 20th birthday party? I want to spend it watching my big one year old boy swim in a kiddie pool at a family barbeque. If you had asked me this same question two years ago, I can assure you the answer would be much different. Not only because Kade wasn't born yet, but because I wasn't who I am today. I guess I didn't know who I was at all yet- Kade showed me that.
My schedule for the next month is as follows: Work, Kade's 1 year pictures, Emily's baby shower, my birthday, Kade's birthday, a trip to the zoo, Kade's birthday party, the 4th of July, the 24th of July and of course the farmers market on 25th street.
On top of all this nonsense, my house is a cluttered disaster (as usual), I have Amish bread that needs to be baked before I go to work in an hour (not happening) and I haven't had a shower yet today. Oh, the joys of motherhood!
But no matter how stressed I am, Kade knows how to make me breath a little deeper and enjoy the peaceful moments though they are few and far between. For example, playing out on grandma Lana's deck today.

Kade's buddy, Mojo.

Kade can now move from sitting position to crawling! Still just "army crawling" but getting closer to the real thing!

When we got home today, I got Kade out of the carseat and he put his arms around my shoulders and promptly fell into a deep slumber. His hair still smelling like sunscreen and sweat from the long day outside and his little fingers sticky from yogurt melts. I decided to forgo the bath for tonight. I didn't want to lose the moment. I wanted him to stay just as he was: with messy hair, sticky fingers and a smudge on his cheek. Proof that he had an adventurous day

Summer?

I was beginning to think summer would never come. Cold weather makes me irritable and uncomfortable- I'm just not myself. Especially untimely cold weather.

We put a lighter quilt on the bed- taking the bulky winter comforter and tucking it away with hope that we wouldn't see it again until November. Kade got new pajamas- shorts- because his footsie jammies would make him hot and sweaty in these warm months. I started looking up easy recipes- the kind of food you make in the summer; when you want to lazily throw something together and eat it out on the lawn. We took every precaution, and it continued to rain. It really seemed as if the rain would never quit. I imagined watching my car floating off in the distance, the river surrounding our apartment...

And Then- There it was. A faint hint of summer. The way the air smells- soft and fresh, the relived feeling you get when a small breeze tickles the back of your neck. The smell of dusty swing sets and sunscreen. Yes folks, I think its finally coming.

The forecast for the next 10 days? Nothing below 75 degrees and no more than a 10 percent chance of rain. And that, my friends, is a reason to smile.

Because with summer comes more outside play dates with Athena. And Kade loves her.

Yesterday, we celebrated Daddy's first fathers day. We love you.

Something else? Kade is unbelievably close to crawling.

Random adorable picture of Kade eating carrots:

AND- I finally finished Athena's dress. I was so frustrated by this project. So, I bought new fabric and started fresh with an open mind. This time, I finished it in three hours.

This week I have a doctors appointment, a work meeting and a house to clean. But on Thursday, the high is 90. And you better believe Kade and Athena will be in their swimming suits at the splash pad.

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

If I could talk, I’d tell you just how thankful I am that God picked you to be mine. I’d tell you that even though you think I’m small and not paying attention, I see the way you look at me with unconditional love. I see the way you take care of Mommy, further allowing her to be the woman we both need. When you don’t think I’m looking, I see you peek in on me at night to make sure I’m snug as a bug. And I hear you positioning the fans, nightlights and humidifier so I have optimal sleeping conditions. I hear the curses under your breath (reminder, watch the language, Pa!) as you put together my toys, spending hours of your weekend just to make me smile.

I see the way your face lights up when I laugh or do something cute. Please know that I’m trying hard to make you proud.

Daddy, If I could talk, I’d tell you how much I’m looking forward to all the adventures we’ll have together. My first baseball game, my first trip to the zoo, my first visit from the tooth fairy and our first family vacation. I’m so lucky that you’re the one I get to experience life with.

If I could talk, I’d tell you to worry less. I know I’m little, Daddy, but I’m going to be OK — as long as you play “superbaby” with me and never stop dancing around the living room to Sesame Street.

If I knew how, I’d tell you how happy it makes me to see you love Mommy. To know that you’re best friends, and that one day I’ll find someone that was made for me, the way you two were made for each other.

Daddy, on Father’s Day, you should know that I see and hear a lot more than what you give me credit for. Your “scary bird” song keeps me safe, your forehead kisses let me know how much you love me and your morning tickles teach me that laughter is one of life’s greatest gifts.

If I could talk, I’d tell you that God couldn’t of picked a greater guy to be my Daddy (and napping partner) and I’m so lucky that I get to be all yours.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.

Kade's scoot and roll is looking more and more like a crawl, it's still raining and mommy has a graveyard shift to work tonight. Everything is going as it always does around here.. I'm slowly chipping away at the disaster that has become my apartment. I've been researching metabolic problems on the internet and have become even more confused on what Kade might have going on in his little body. This post is going to be awful random, thoughts are just floating by and ending up scrolled across the page.
At this very moment, I've got a baby in my lap; fresh out of the bath,playing with daddy's broken cell phone and being the wiggliest worm of them all. Today, he learned how to move his hand on and off his mouth while making noise- you know when kids pretend to be an Indian? It simply melts my heart. He's growing up so fast; I wish I could freeze time and keep him here in my lap, content with a broken electronic and elbowing me in the rib during his fury when it goes tumbling to the ground. I wish I could bottle the smell of his hair, just scrubbed and combed, soon to be matted in the back from rubbing it against the crib mattress. There are certain things about motherhood that I can't explain. I wish I had a definition for the feeling of his sticky little fingers grasping my shoulder for dear life in the grocery store or the way my heart flutters when I hear him laughing in his sleep through the baby monitor.

I am so proud to be Kadertot's Mama.

Insert adorable pictures of Kade HERE:

Eight Weeks Post Op

Today I took Kade to his eight week post-op appointment with our wonderful cardiologist, Dr.Pinto. They performed an Echo and an EKG and Kade's heart is functioning beautifully! Everything looks as it should in his chest- the VSD is closed and there is no leakage whatsoever (other than the remaining ASD's, which will close in time). I was so excited! Hoping that we would get a six month clearance and be one step closer to having just annual check-ups.
Well- my mother intuition told me that wasn't so and once again it was right. Kade hasn't grown. He hasn't gained even an ounce since his last check-up with Dr.Pinto. His cardiologist seemed concerned. Really, Kade eats a ton all the time-More than the average ten month old-so why isn't he gaining any weight? Dr.Pinto threw around the world metabolizing, hesitantly. She's just a cardiologist so it isn't her area of expertise.. His heart is healthy.
We have to go back in eight weeks. If Kade hasn't gained weight up to Dr.Pinto's standards, she will send us to a nutritionist as well as another specialist to find out if perhaps he has a syndrome (unlikely because he shows no other indicators, such as short limbs or developmental delays). If not a syndrome, I'm assuming we'll move from specialist to specialist until one of them can tell us why my Kadertot isn't growing as he should be. I'm beyond frustrated- I thought we were out of the woods but it seems we've just trailed the outskirts.

Any thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Dinosaur Park etc.

We had planned on taking Kade on a trip to Salt Lake on Saturday afternoon. But, because I work graveyards I was asleep until three and by then it felt like a waste of time because the heat of the day was diminishing and we figured by the time we made out way back it would be dark and cold and Kade would be miserable. Instead, we went to the Dinosaur Park. The Dino Park is five minutes away and it costs seven dollars for adults; Kade is free. It has giant fake dinosaurs, a huge sandbox and big black speakers that bellow out dinosaur noises all day long. It's right next to the river- which is so high right now there were sand bags piled up next to the paths and I have to admit I was planning out escape routes in my head as I watched the bags act as a temporary bank. Kade was indifferent to the dinosaurs. He glanced up at them and looked away with bored eyes. He acted as if they were a part of his every day scenery- geeze mom, it's just a dinosaur. I see them all the time.. What he really enjoyed though, was the sandbox. Kade has never gotten down and dirty in a public sandbox before and I let him. I have to say I was pretty impressed with myself. Normally, this would be me: Kade! Pleeease don't touch the sand, booger! that's icky! But believe it or not, this time the sandbox was my idea.
And when he stuck his sandy fingers in his mouth?
I didn't even cringe.

An explanation of why there is always a picture of Kades bottom half: I love his feet. They are perfect. Something I looked forward to the entire time I was pregnant was my babies tiny little feet; curling and stretching. When he's a teenager and I'm yelling at him to put his dirty socks in the laundry I want to look back on these pictures and remind myself that once, I loved his feet.

My favorite part of the day? Watching Ian with Kade.
Because he really is the most amazing Dad.


Side note: I'm in the middle of yet another project. Fabric nesting blocks for Kade. After this project is over I will move on to a pretty summer dress for Kades girlfriend, Athena (who came over to play today- we had a blast!). Pictures will more than likely be up tomorrow morning. For now, I'm going to crack open a grape soda and nestle into a ball in front of the sewing machine.

25th Street Treasures

I am a shopoholic. There you have it- I finally admitted it. I live for a killer deal and brand spankin new stuff in my babies bedroom. Today, I was getting quite the itch for something new and unique so Kade and Mommy went on a date to Historic 25th Street. We packed up the stroller and strolled up and down the street searching for new treasures. Twenty-fifth street has the most amazing shops- they're all so unique that your just about guaranteed to find something incredible. The art festival was also going on at the union state, so Kadertot and I stopped in to take a peek at some of the beautiful work that was on display. After we shopped around for a minute, we sat down in front of Great Harvest and Mommy got a big huge piece of bread fresh out of the oven (I let Kade taste it and he made the most silly face- apparently he is not a fan of cinnamon raisin). It was finally a warm enough day to sit outside and relax. And if you ask me, 25th is the best place to do so.

I also completed another project!! I made Kade "celebration flags" to hang in his room. They were so easy! I had no guide or pattern- I saw it on someone's blog and thought, "Hey! I could do that!" I totally winged it but they turned out so cute!

I love spending time just hanging out with my little prince.

Lyle, Lyle Crocodile and Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day-
aren't those socks just yummy?

I have fallen in love with a cutlery set.
I simply could not remove myself from the store without it.

I got so many compliments on his pants and shoes today!

Another project complete! These celebration flags took me just a couple of hours-
they were super easy to make and add such great pop to Kades room.

Yup, Just another day in the life of Mama. I am so lucky to have such a beautiful family. Tomorrow is family day and we're planning a trip to Salt Lake on the front runner.
Can't wait!

June 9th

I go back to work tonight after six long days off. I'm so grateful I got a short vacation to spend time with my prince before starting up the graveyard routine again. He has the sweetest personality! Today I took a nap with Kade- when I awoke he had both of his little hands on either side of my face and his nose touching mine, fast asleep. He melts my heart and makes me feel so proud to be his mama! He is so close to being able to crawl! He scoots backwards and rocks back and forth on all fours. I'm guessing he'll be crawling all over the house by tomorrow afternoon. That's so exciting!! But scary at the same time- I'm slacking in the baby-proof-the-house-ahead-of-time department.

Because I had a few days off and because of the wonderful inspiration I got from the new quilting book Ian got me- I made Kade a pair of pants. I am so proud of myself I can barely contain my excitement! They are so deliciously adorable and they're reversible! What could be better, really? I'm also making a lovely dress for Kades little friend, Athena. And all sorts of other things- If I tried to list my projects then..well, this would be another list blog. And we don't want that.

Something else I did today? I went grocery shopping at the health food store. I guess the theme of this blog is Pride. I know the store is there- hell it's right across the street from Target- but I never actually dragged my butt in there until today and I'm so glad that I did! Tonight for dinner I made pizza without the red sauce on whole wheat and honey crust- every single ingredient one hundred percent organic. And it was seriously to die for. It was certainly one of my most satisfying meals I've ever experimented with. I also stocked up on Organic baby food for Kade. Since he's not a huge fan of the food Mommy makes him, organic is the next best thing.

I wish I had a way of sharing the smell of the pizza that we made- it was mouth watering. Instead, I'll share the recipe. You're silly not to try it. It's so incredibly simple and you won't regret it!

I had to throw in an extra picture of how adorable Kade looks in his new pants.

Back to the daily grind-

Pizza without red sauce

2 tbsp melted butter
1 tbsp olive oil
3 tbsp minced garlic
2 tbsp sun dried tomato pesto
1 tsp dried basil leaves
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tbsp grated Parmesan
1 bunch fresh spinach, torn
1 sweet onion, sliced
1 fresh jalapeno, chopped
1 cup Mozzarella cheese
1 tomato, sliced
1 unbaked pizza crust

In a small bowl, combine butter, oil, garlic, pesto, basil, oregeno and parmesan cheese. Spread mixture evenly over crust. Arrange tomato, spinch, onion and pepper on pizza and top with cheese.
Bake according to crust directions.

Mommy Smiles

At the end of a long day, sometimes you have to sit yourself down and force calm thoughts. For example- the baby has been screaming non-stop for two days straight, the bedroom is still not organized even though you've made it top priority for a week now, your diet coke is warm because you keep forgetting to put it in the fridge and you forgot (again) to make an appointment- or five- before the offices closed. At this point its important to sit yourself down and take a deep breath before you explode.

It's times like these when I have to make a list. I'm a big list-maker. Grocery lists, to-do lists, goal lists, things-I-want-but-will-never-have lists. Making a list calms me.

Okay, I have a plan now. It will be okay.

Reasons to Smile:

1. Kades new moccasins. They were made at the Black Foot Reservation in Idaho. They smell like barbeque beef jerky from being dried over a camp fire.

2. Kades new sock monkey and his ever-growing book collection. Ian and I have made a point to buy him new books regularly and his shelf is finally filling

3. Ian got me a new book- Handmade Beginnings by Anna Maria Horner. I've made a goal to complete every project by the end of the year. And the buddhism book I got for christmas? It's a heavy read but every word is so inspiring.


4. Packing Kades diaper bag for his weekly sleepover at Grandma Danielles house- babbling about each item and what it's for as I place it in the bag. He stares like he understands every word I'm saying.

5. Being the mother to the most amazing and sweet baby on the planet. He has taught me so many amazing and irreplaceable life lessons.

Beautiful Weekend

Finally a beautiful and warm weekend! I have a week off work before starting graveyards on Thursday and I've been soaking up every minute of time I have with my sweet Kadertot until I go back. The last few days have been spent rolling around on the floor, trying new finger foods, buying new jammies, continuing to redecorate Kades room, baking and so much more! It has been amazing. My new schedule at work is graveyards Thursday through Saturday- which means I'll be home with Kade Sunday through Wednesday!! I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. I have so many fun activities going through my head, I've had to write them down so I don't forget them!

Kade got new pajamas, and got to wear a tank top for the first time this year! We also bought him a sock monkey- we finally found one at Target that wasn't pink.

Oh, and I've created a Cheese Monster. He would eat it for every meal if I'd let him.


Mommy and Kade went for a long walk, both of us slathered in sunscreen. Remember that raging river I was talking about? After the walk, I gave Kade a frozen "Binksicle" to cool down.

We made made Play Dough Cookies! Mommy and Daddy were feeling creative- By the time I had the dough done, Kade was down for his nap. So we made the cookies, just us two.

Play Dough Cookies:
3/4 cup butter- softened
3 oz. cream cheese
1 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 3/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
food coloring

In a bowl cream butter, cream cheese and sugar until fluffy. Add egg and vanilla and beat until smooth.
In a medium bowl combine flour, baking powder and salt. Add dry ingredients to cream mixture and stir until soft dough forms.
Separate dough into four small bowls and add food coloring to each.
Make shapes and designs to your hearts content!
Bake for 8 minutes at 350 degrees.

We went to a family BBQ at Shelly Halacy's house. (She's doing an awesome giveaway by the way- you should check it out!) Mike made the best chicken I've ever tasted- slow cooked on the grill for two hours! Kade was a mommy's boy and refused to let anyone else hold him. What else is new? ha!

It was really an amazing weekend- tomorrow we are shopping for Kades first birthday while he has a sleepover at Grandma Danielles house. It's also mine and Ian's date night! Can't wait for the rest of the week to unfold.

Finger Foods

This week we've been focused on introducing Kade to new finger foods. We've been trying to press the importance of self feeding now that he grasps the concept of picking things up between his thumb and index finger.

Here are a few things we tried this week:

Strawberry Pancakes

Carrot Sticks, Cheese, Yellow and Green Peppers

So far, the pancakes are his favorite! With the peppers he just sucked out the water until they were limp and then threw them onto the floor. He LOVED the cheese, but was indifferent to the carrots (odd because carrot puree is his favorite). We can't wait to try more new and exciting foods for his little taste buds.

If you have a finger food your baby loves/loved, I want to hear about it! I need lots of good ideas to keep his diet interesting for him.

Swimming and New Jammies

Yesterday we took Kade swimming for the first time! He absolutely loved the water. We showed him how to splash and float and even after he got a mouthful of water he was still smiling! The pool was sun heated, so we didn't stay long because it was pretty chilly. But it was so much fun while it lasted!! After we finished up at the pool we treated ourselves to Burger Bar shakes and cuddled up in our jammies. Kade just got new pajamas because he's grown out of all of his old ones. This is great news because it means he's finally growing!

We didn't take any pictures at the pool (partly fear of dropping the camera in the water and also no knowledge of whether we were actually allowed to take pictures), but we do have a picture of Kade in his swimming trunks right before we left the house.

Kade in his new pajamas

IanJessKade

My relationship is not perfect- I'll be the first to say it. I'm always getting compliments on how amazing my little family is; so close, so put together, so loving. We have our issues, trust me. There have been screaming fights, slammed doors and lots of curse words. Of course, no relationship is perfect. But, lately, I've been extremely frustrated because I feel like we haven't had enough "family time." By family time I mean entire days spent with just us three- no friends or extended family visiting. I'm not saying I'd like structured family events. I don't want a specific schedule. It's just that in the hectic life we live, its almost as if we've lost touch with each other. I simply want quiet days, just us three, being together. So, I've made a proposition to Ian: Three days of family time a week. Three days of hanging out, making dinner together, going grocery shopping- anything. As long as we do it as a family.

Also, Ian stays home with Kade during the day and it seemed that the second I got home he would leave. I got so angry with him because he was always running off with his friends, but after I really thought about it I realized: he sits home with an infant all day. Kade knows three, maybe four words.That must be so frustrating and lonely! So, I've given Ian a "free day pass." One day a week when I don't work and he can do whatever he wants with his friends, all day. In return, I get to go to the gym a few times a week to vent some steam.

It's a small step- but I think it will take us so far! I'm hoping that this change will bring my little family even closer and get us to be friends again.

I thank God every day for the amazing people He has put in my life- but Ian and Kade are on the top of my list. They have shown me so much humility, strength, passion and loyalty. I can only hope to give them the support system that they have provided me through these trying months.

I love you, boys!

Emilys Baby Shower

My little sister Emily is having a baby girl! Her due date in August 16th- the same day that Kade was due. I am helping my grandma plan her baby shower on July 9th. Kade's birthday party is July 23rd.. What have I gotten myself into?! Oh well, I'm going to be an aunt and my baby will be a whole year old. No complaints here!

Today, Emily and I made the shower invitations- they are all hand made and each one is different.

They turned out so cute! Here's a close up of a couple of them: